In a stunning announcement that has rocked the Las Vegas Strip, revealed plans to build a new Bellagio tower. And not just any tower—a 500-foot giant cowbell-shaped structure that will rise proudly in the center of the iconic Bellagio fountains. The news that Bellagio is building a giant cowbell tower has hit the strip with a thunderous clunk.
The daring move comes as Hard Rock has broken ground on its guitar-shaped tower where the former Mirage currently stands. Industry insiders say this is the latest shot fired in what locals are now calling the “Las Vegas Musical Instrument Towers Race.” (LVMTAR)
At a press conference on Tuesday, Bellagio spokesperson Clarabelle Humbucker revealed that the decision was driven by what the hotel saw as a glaring omission in the Las Vegas skyline. “Las Vegas has always been about spectacle, and while a guitar tower is nice, it just didn’t quite resonate with us,” Humbucker said, smirking. “We asked ourselves, what would really set us apart? Then it hit us. What could be more rock ‘n’ roll than a giant cowbell?”
Humbucker noted that the rooms will have “state-of-the-art technology,” including a button guests can press to hear Will Ferrell quotes while in the shower. “Our guests deserve something that will leave them both breathless and slightly confused,” she added.
“Some people thought our fountains couldn’t get any better,” Humbucker commented. “We’re here to prove those people wrong, and maybe give them a mild hearing loss in the process.”
The Hard Rock, for its part, remains unfazed. “We wish the Bellagio all the best with their cowbell,” said a spokesperson. “After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But I think we all know the guitar tower will hit a higher note.” Rumors that Hard Rock is secretly adding a second bass guitar-shaped tower are unconfirmed.